My recent article on #heroin “My Dance with the Devil,” went viral with as many as 729,485 views and counting. I am blown away with the response I’ve gotten and emotionally torn as well. This is a GREAT thing, this is a POSITIVE thing, however; I am only a 25 year old girl. Juggling a full time reception job Monday through Friday and being a hairstylist and makeup artist Friday through Sunday. I’m just a young girl trying to make it in this world after crawling back up that black hole “#Heroin” I leave my word press open in the background and try to respond too as many emails as I possibly can while working, then I go home at night and feel guilty about the ones I can’t get too.
”What if that ONE person, who reached out to me, dies tomorrow and I could have said something to save them? ” that’s the way my mind works; if you’ve read my other piece on “My Battle with Anxiety” you would somewhat know the thoughts that scatter throughout my head. I over think, I analyze; I criticize myself more than anyone else ever could. (Typical Virgo) This is probably a good thing, because if one more person tells me I misspelled a word… Lol. I KNOW YOU GUYS. I should have used spell-check. 😉
It weighs heavy on my heart because initially, I wrote this piece for myself. I wrote it on my lunch break one day, minimizing the screen as my coworkers walked by. I wrote this piece because I was sick and tired of walking into a room full of old friends, and new ones as well, not knowing if they are aware of my prior drug use. I was sick and tired of wondering, if they did happen to know, just how much of it was the truth. I was sick and tired of over thinking and over analyzing what people thought about me. But then something beautiful happened. No one really criticized me at all, no one truly judged me, no one really cared at the end of the day that I used the wrong use of “you’re,” but ME. No one really cared at the end of the day, that I had a problem with Heroin, but ME.
I have called my mom in tears multiple times since putting that piece out for the world to see, these were tears of happiness though, these were tears of “WHAT IN THE HELL JUST HAPPENED” I tell her how overwhelming it all is, because like I said, this thing has gone viral. I share with her that I fell bad not being able to communicate one on one with my readers. But I have over 700 emails in my inbox, and I work close to 6-7 days a week, and juggle a relationship on top of it all.
My other worry is that, this entire thing is going to die down, because let’s be honest. All things at some point come to an end. Even Kim Kardashian’s views die down when her sister Kylie post a picture in the same bathing suit. My point here is that, even though this article will fade away with the rest, the epidemic of heroin will not. Not unless we single handedly step up as a family, as a community, as a country and reach out to those suffering in silence. I appreciate all the kind words from everyone telling me I was brave to put my story out there, but my goal is to get the next addict to put their story out there. I encourage the mother that just lost her child to write HER testimony, the son who just watched his father fade away in front of his eyes, write HIS testimony.
I’ve been asked to speak in churches, or small groups, or NA meetings etc. which I am open too. But I want to point out that we live in a world where social media takes up 75 percent of most people’s day. I also want to point out that as an addict I didn’t go to meetings, I wasn’t going to church, and I sure as hell wasn’t listening to anyone who told me to do these things. I was however, throughout my entire addiction, ON SOCIAL MEDIA. So write your story and post it on your wall, start a blog, do whatever you need to do, just TALK ABOUT IT in a way that is going to reach people. The best part is, its something people can go back to and read over and over again.
Words are powerful, words speak to the heart, and words hit home in a way a bouquet of flowers do not. Words make people feel. And believe me, I know they are hard to write, but words also help us HEAL. They help us let it out. They help us let go of pain. They help us grow. And I will tell you right now, I don’t care which use of “your, you’re, you R, or UR “-You use. I don’t care if you write five run on sentences and put comas after every other word. JUST WRITE. Because as scared as I was to open up and be judged even in the slightest bit, I’ve overcome that fear with only ONE post. Imagine the fears you can overcome.
I also encourage you guys to get on my Word press and read ONE comment coming from my fellow addicts across not just our country, but all over the world. If you could reach out to at least ONE person and tell them you will pray for them, or give them the name of a facility in their area if you know of one. I have people asking about suboxone and rehabs which I know NOTHING about. I didn’t go to rehab; I didn’t use suboxone so these are questions I cannot answer. But many of you may be able to fill in those blanks for me.
I’m in tears right now as I finish this piece, because the stories i have heard have touched my heart to the core. The love of families being destroyed by a DRUG. My story had a happy ending, but the hundreds of people I’ve spoken with didn’t get that same happy ending. And the other hundreds are reaching out asking me for help. And now I am asking YOU for help. For the first time in my life I AM ASKING FOR HELP. Help me guys. And to the readers I know personally, from school, my friends, or other individuals my age. I want you to think about something real quick. If we don’t step up and lend a hand NOW, it’s going to be OUR children we bury.
- Lets help one another LIVE A LITTLE, ya?
- If you’re going in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns 🙏🏼🦋