Dear Heroin,

Dear Heroin,

This is where we say good-bye. The hardest goodbye I will probably ever say.

I want to start by saying thank you. Thank you for always being there when I needed you most, for never leaving my side, for being the most constant thing that’s ever entered my life. No matter what I was going through you were always there. My relationship with you felt more real than anything I’ve ever experienced.

You were the first thing on my mind when I woke up and the last thing I thought about before bed.

You made my demons disappear- Demons I’ve been fighting for years.

My own personal hero… But even heroes have a dark side

I would have walked this earth for you. Cheat, steal, lie, and lower myself worth… Yet everyday you were stealing from me. You were stealing my life. Everyday getting closer to my death… and you thought you had me there a couple of times. But I beat you, and I will continue to beat you.

(Written in 2015 after my second overdose)

You took the fight out of me for sometime… but you see, I’ve got it back now, and I won’t let you control where my life goes. I won’t let you ruin one more relationship. I’ve seen how you work; the way you sneak up and steal mind bodies and souls. I’ve seen the way you can turn a colorful world to black and white. The way you make dreams and ambitions disappear.

You’ve taken so many loved ones from me and you’ve ripped love from right under my nose.

You should know I don’t blame you for the path I chose. It’s not your fault I wanted you so close.

I will mourn you along with the beautiful souls you’ve stolen from me. But I will never regret meeting you because now I see how beautiful life truly is. I want to spend the rest of my days laughing, loving and finally living.

So thank you for coming into my life when I needed you most. & thank you for making it so easy for me to let you go.

I am finally at peace; Peace that not even you could give me.

Please stop showing up in my nightmares and let me go

It’s time we both let go…

Sincerely, Courtney



4 thoughts on “Dear Heroin,

  1. I hate you for taking my son-in-law. He was 33 left his wife and 4 children behind. Please stop hurting people and ruining lives. Help the addicts to make it thru.


  2. I dont know you but I’m currently fighting this demon right now. It has stripped two of my best friends from me because of a overdose. It has taken my wife from me because I was a junky. It has taken my life from me and I just Want to live again. I want to be free again. And live a happy, long, fulfilling life. If you have the chance please reply because I just need help. Someone I can talk to and give me postivie insight from someone my age that has fought this same demon I am currently fighting now. Email me at


  3. Look into my eyes and tell me what you see
    Looking out of my eyes all I can see is loved ones who stop loving me
    People hurting people is not what god put us here for
    People hurting themselves is a scream for love and attention that is never answered
    Look into my eyes and tell me you see all of these things that are hurting me!
    Start loving!
    Stop hurting!
    And answer me!

    I wrote this 23 years ago when I got out of rehab at age 16


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