When I heard the news…
Your mom sent me a text to come down stairs; I thought to myself, “great, what have I done now.” I’ve been trying to remember to lock the doors behind me when I leave, and I think I swept the salon floor the last time I was down there?… But I forget things, and living at home isn’t always easy for any of us.
I walked into the bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed where dad and Cassie were lying.
“We got you a present!”
Well I love presents! But I knew something was off, it was written all over their faces. No one in this family can keep a secret, but I went along with it. Cassie handed me a small gift, wrapped in paper and all. Cassie loves giving presents; I think she was more excited than I was to be honest. I ripped off the paper to find a green St. Patrick’s Day bib…Well we were in the middle of July, and St.Patrick’s day wasn’t for another eight months…
The first thought than ran through my head was, “maybe were going on a family vacation and this is to wear while funneling beer?” Cassie was always a great funneling partner and witty enough to do something like this. But of course, that wasn’t the case at all. I flipped it over and read the words “My 1st St. Patrick’s Day”
“You’re going to have a brother or sister!” they kind of looked at me with hesitation, not really sure of how I would take the news. I was however, an only child for 25 years. And not only were they bringing a baby into the world, but I was living under the same roof! Were they going to kick me out? Where do they expect me to go? I understand I’m 25 years old, but rent is a lot of commitment that I’m just not ready to make.
Well they didn’t kick me out of the house… they just kicked me out of my bedroom. Dad was so nervous to ask me too switch rooms. He invited me to go to dinner with him one night, just the two of us. And once again, I’m nervous he’s about to tell me i need to find somewhere to live. I’m thinking to myself “he knows I don’t do well with roommates, we’ve been down this path, and it’s only going to be a headache for the both of us when this goes south.”
Well He’s nervous, and I’m nervous; so to calm our nerves we ordered a pitcher of margaritas. Thank God they were strong. I laughed to myself when he told me they wanted to use my bedroom for the nursery, due to the size and tall ceiling. “Sure! Go right ahead!” Ill move my belongings down the hall. –What a relief that was “check please!”
I have to admit, I wanted a brother. What was I going to do with a sister? Yet, here we are, you’re almost a year old and I’ve gotta say… What in the hell would I do with a brother? The moment I met you, my entire life changed. You know, you almost didn’t make it. We prayed and we prayed and God listened to our prayers. As you laid in NICU I snuck in to see you one night. No one was allowed in, but that wasn’t going to stop me. i snuck pass some nurses and hid behind a wall until the coast was clear. I sat with you and talked to you as you squeezed my finger so tight. I remember telling you that “Whitfield’s aren’t quitters, “something my dad (our dad) implanted in my head over the years. And you stood true to your name. You held on, and you came home.
So my black and white room switched to purple and silver, the boat changed from Miss Courtney to Tinsley Mae, and I passed my crown down to your tiny little head.
And through all of these changes, you’ve taught me how to be selfless. You’ve taught me how to love unconditionally and you’ve filled my heart with more love and more joy than I ever could have imagined. In a way, you saved me. In a way, I think you saved us all.
All I could think about when you came into this world, was what I was going to be able teach you. I’ve made so many mistakes over the years, i was so worried about the responsibility of being a role model to you. But I never imagined that you would be the one teaching me. So thank you.
I love you more than you’ll ever know. And always remember;
To keep your head held high princess; if not, your tiara will fall ❤